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几个滑稽英语小故事

栏目:滑稽故事 作者:折笠忍作品番号网 时间:2012-05-04 点击:

One hot summer day a fox was walking through an orchard. He stopped before a bunch of grapes. They were ripe and juicy.

  "I'm just feeling thirsty," he thought. So he backed up a few paces, got a running start, jumped up, but could not reach the grapes.

  He walked back. One, two, three, he jumped up again, but still, he missed the grapes.

  The fox tried again and again, but never succeeded. At last he decided to give it up.

  He walked away with his nose in the air, and said“I am sure they are sour.”


狐狸和葡萄

  ●一个酷热的夏季,狐狸走过一个果园,他停在一大串熟透而多汁的葡萄前。

  ●狐狸想:“我正口渴呢。”因而他前进了几步,向前一冲,跳起来,却没法够到葡萄。

  ●狐狸前进又试。一次,两次,三次,然则都没有获得葡萄。

  ●狐狸试了一次又一次,都没有乐成。最初,他决议摒弃,他昂开端,边走边说:“葡萄还没有成熟,我敢确定它是酸的。”

 

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

教师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

门生:我指不出,但我晓得谜底。

教师:请说说看。

门生:燕子中间的就是麻雀,麻雀中间的就是燕子。


2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

渔网

"你能通知我渔网是甚么做的吗,安?" 教师提问道。

"把很多小孔用绳索栓在一路就成了渔网了。" 小女孩回覆道。


3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新教师

9月1日, 乔治下学回抵家里。

"乔治,你爱好你们的新教师吗?" 妈妈问。

"妈妈,我不爱好,因为她说3加3得6, 可厥后又说2加4也得6。"


4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理测验

在一次物理测验时,当同窗们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个题目。

这个题目是:为何在打雷时,我们老是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

尼克的回覆是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。

 

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“今天给你的钱干甚么了?”
“我给了一个不幸的老妇人,”他回覆说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈自满地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为何对那位老太太那末感乐趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.通知
(2) nest n.窝;巢
(3) description n.形貌
(4) encourage v.激劝
(5) resemble v. 类似;相似

18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一名小学教师。一次一个门生通知她说一只鸟儿在课堂外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是甚么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿,教师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回覆说。
“那末,你能给我们形貌一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐激劝她道。
“哦,教师,就像你的头发一样。”


I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了本人的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略情势。

我刚咬破本人的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,酷爱的,”她回覆说,“你问这个干甚么?”
“因为我方才咬破本人的舌头。”


A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

跌倒的女人
高低班顶峰期,我促奔向纽约奢华中央站去赶一趟火车。靠近门口,一名瘦削的中年妇女从背面冲过来,没想到在滑润圆滑的大理石空中上失了脚,抬头滑倒了。她的惯性使她靠近了我的脚。我正预备扶她,她却本人爬了起来。她冷静了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“老是有美丽女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”


英语笑话(一)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

山公会和跳蚤有甚么差别呢?你能够会间接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此以外呢,那就是山公身上能够长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不克不及有山公。这个谜底很故意思吧?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

若是你踩了农民的玉米或是谷物,他确定会朝气的;而若是你踩了农民脚底的鸡眼,他会重生气。Corn既能够示意“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意义。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上老是背着一所屋子,以是说蜗牛是天下上最强健的生物是多如牛毛的。你说呢?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可万万别认为是在钟表厂事情的人成天都做鬼脸呀!因为除这个意义之外,它还能够从字面上注释为制作钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

如何才干不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简朴的方式就是不让他睡觉。固然这不是医治方式,但若是让梦游者醒着呢,他简直就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话(二)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔来吧,有1000小我。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干甚么的?

-- 坟场守墓人。

英语笑话(三)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国间接带来的

一名中国老太婆在美国探望女儿返来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美圆。在银行柜台,银行人员卖力搜检了每张钞票,看能否有假。

这类做法让老太婆很不耐心,最初着实忍受不住说:“信赖我,老师,也请你信赖这些钞票。这都是真实的美圆,它们是从美国间接带来的。”

英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

酷爱的,我把保护的小狗给丢了!

史姑娘夫人:但是你该在报纸上登告白啊!

布朗夫人:没有效的,我的小狗不熟悉字。”

英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我谁人打赢的吧

-- 办事员,

这个龙虾只要一只爪。

-- 对不起,老师,这只确定打过架了。

-- 哦, 那给我谁人打赢的吧。

英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

守财奴宴客

一个出了名的守财奴终究决议要请一次客了。他在向一个同伙注释怎样找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中央谁人门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了以后,再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为何要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“你的双手得拿礼品啊。天哪,你总不会空动手来吧?”守财奴回覆

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